Fallout Journals: Brokeback Mountain Edition

Anyway, I got him running about 30 minutes ago, so now I'm gonna take a break from Flash and so something far more entertaining.....write the next installment of the Fallout Journals.


Fallout Journals: Now Where Were We?

When we last left the post-nuclear world of Fallout, I had just purchased an AWESOME leather jacket. Let's do a quick recap to see how I got such a sweet jacket.

So I was exploring the Old Town in the Hub, the eastern section of the trading city where all the lowlifes go to get whatever it is that needs a-gettin'. I passed by two lovely Skags on my way to the downtown core.

I met up with this crazy guy, wandering around, and muttering to himself. I kinda did my best to avoid contact as I pushed past him and continued my exploration of town.


Crazy guy was standing just out side of a beat-down house; I checked inside to see if anyone might know anything about water chips. I discovered an old mutant named Harold; he came from the very first Vault that opened after the War. He looks like crap, to be honest with you.

SO I give Harold 5 bottle caps and talk to him for a while. Turns out he has some information that might be a clue to what's happening with the caravans......(dramatic chord).......


Hmmm....mutants attacking caravans, huh? Sounds pretty bad. Harold tells me that all the mutants seem to be coming from an abandoned military base - a while back, he and some others tried to enter the base and kill the mutants / wipe out the source of mutation. But they didn't do so well. Apparently, there's a ton of military-grade robot security drones to get past before you face the mutants. Right, okay then. Harold told me where the base was, but I stopped listening after "robot security drones." My blue jumpsuit with lucky number 13 emblazoned on the back - in yellow, no less - needs to be upgraded, STAT.

So I leave Harold, say goodbye to Crazy Guy, and continue exploring Old Town.

A little while later, I run into Jacob, an arms dealer that operates out of Old Town. This guy is pretty nice for an arms dealer - I take a shining to him right away and hit him up for information. He tells me about a lot of stuff, but MOST IMPORTANTLY he tells me that I need to get a geiger counter and start checking myself for rads - units of radiation in the body. Too many rads, Jacob tells me, and you die. You need to keep taking a product called Rad-Away to stay alive in the wastelands. Jacob tells me about a dealer across the road from him, says to say that Jacob sent me, and sends me on my way.

Now, because the dealer across the street also sells...well, other stuff, I couldn't get a screenshot of the premises. But anyway, I talked to him about Rad-Away, bought some scorpion poison antidote.....and just as I was finishing up, I noticed he was selling a LEATHER JACKET for like 500 caps. So I drop the money immediately and suit up in my new gear. I already feel more badass.

Crimson Caravan Blues

January 3rd finally rolls around. I've done 2 runs for the Far Go Traders already, and I'm starting to feel like a seasoned veteran of the wastelands. I stride over to the Crimson Caravan at the crack of dawn, ready to start making some serious caps.

So I roll out with the caravan. On our first trek to Junktown, we got ambushed!!! By.....8 insects. Hmmm...they kinda look like praying mantises. I kinda laugh and think to myself, "Well, this should be about as hard as killing rats."


It look exactly 1 complete combat turn to get to this screen.



Wow. I guess I underestimated the powerful side-effects of exposure to nuclear radiation. No problem, I'll just reload my save game and try again. And this time, our caravan runs into 3 Raiders...."Only 3?" I think. "This is gonna be easy! There's four of us!!" I load my gun and prepare to fight; the Raider farthest away from me points his rifle and fires, and I take a critical hit in the leg for 12 HP of damage.



Ouch....that's like a third of my HP gone in 1 attack. Thank God there's 4 of us....oh, but WAIT, the Crimson Caravaneers couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a rocket launcher. **facepalm** I watch each of my 'allies' aim and miss entirely as the Raiders move in for the kill, cruelly taunting us with each step.



I manage to get in one last shot before they're on top of us. BANG! I line up a perfect headshot....and do 7 HP of damage. SEVEN. I got hit the leg and took 12 HP damage!!! WTF?!?!?!?!? I don't see any helmets on these raiders's heads.....what, do they have ADAMANTIUM SKULLS? (k, I'm a little bitter)


This battle lasts 3 full combat rounds.



I'm beginning to think these guys call themselves the Crimson Caravan because their caravans are stained with the blood of the n00bs that can't even hit Raiders standing in front of them. ARGH.

After about a half-dozen hopeless attempts (one trip brought us into the path of 7 Raiders, and my HP was at -5 before it was our turn to fight), I gave up. Time for a new tack.


Plan B: Hire Help, Kill Scorpions

Somewhere between beatings on the Crimson Caravan tour, I remembered that pesky Radscorpion problem back in Shady Sands. I also remembered a fella named Ian who offered to help me out for like 100 bottle caps, and I definitely began to think I could use some help.

I leave the Hub and return to the much more peaceful Shady Sands. I immediately head over to Ian's place and offer him 100 caps to join the gang. He accepts - and I get 100 XP! Tidy. Things are looking up already.


Now, if I've learned one thing from my brief dalliances with the Raiders, it's that good help is hard to find. I ask Ian what qualifies him to take on this position.

Excellent: it sounds like he can aim a gun. Alright, then, enough chit-chat! Let's kill some giant scorpions!!!



I'm a little nervous as Ian and I reach the Radscorpions' cave; I really need to kill something and make some money. (Oh yeah, I need to find a "rope" somewhere too, so I can explore old Vault 15! Gotta remember that...)

We head into the cave and it isn't long before we meet our first Radscorpion. I manage to fire off a shot and hit the scorpion in the brain, causing critical damage. Ian takes 2 shots with his submachine gun, and - BAM - we got ourselves a dead Radscorpion. I didn't take a single HP of damage. Well, that went well. It's hard not to admire Ian's prowess with a gun after having suffered the buffoonery of the Crimson Caravan.



Ian is certainly no stranger to action - he even seems to enjoy inflicting pain on these creatures. Once, while we were killing this particularly gruesome Radscorpion, Ian just walked up to it, put his gun to the beast's head, and muttered, "Let's see if you enjoy this."




BANG. The creature slumped noiselessly to the ground. I just stood there, in awe of what had happened. I felt so....safe....with Ian. Like everything was going to be OK. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was going to make it through the wastelands just fine, and maybe even find a water chip for my friends back in Vault 13.

We worked in silence, side-by-side, swiftly killing these wretched Radscorpions. It wasn't long before we were done. I took a few scorpion tails to bring back to Shady Sands as proof of our victory. We headed back to town, neither of us speaking, but both of us (was he though? I don't know) feeling that a strange bond had formed between us.




Back in Shady Sands, I speak with Aradesh, who thanks me for ridding the town of its scorpion problem. He also advises me to being the scorpion tails over to Razlo, a scientist trying to develop an antidote to the scorpion's sting. I wonder why it's needed now that Ian and I have killed them all, but hey, whatever - I head over to Razlo's place, give him the tails, and collect even more XP!

So now I'm at Level 3, I've got some money, a sweet leather jacket.....and Ian. It's getting late. Ian and I decide to take our night's rest in Shady Sands. I find a quiet room with a warm, comfortable bed. A very nice looking bed.


Ian and I exchange awkward glances. Ian mumbles a question under his harsh, whiskey-soaked breath:



Never mind, Ian. Never mind.