The Latest Cape-Lover Propaganda
The war so far.....
An Unintended Declaration of War. (It's at the very end. One line.)
Torbox's First Assault on the Truth.
A Hastily Thrown Together Reply to the First Attack, Which I Somewhat Regret. (Also at the very end. And I'm sorry.)
OldManLever's First Coherent Response, and an Appeal to an Agreed Authority.
Further Deceptions and Shocking Betrayals.
Some people truly have no shame. They just need to be right so badly that they're willing to create complete and utter fabrications to support their claims. They are willing to distort reality to shape their own ends - they Ctrl-X and Ctrl-V the truth into a perspective that brings into focus only what they want you to see, leaving out the crucial bits .that give a complete perspective.
In his futile bid to wrest the Leaf from its honoured position as the greatest Mario power-up, Torbox has begun to concoct a conspiracy theory so vast (and unfortunately so outlandish) that it manges, somehow, to drag Sonic into all of this. Oh, right. This is all obviously a plot by.....Dr. Robotnik. He's mad because - what was it again, let me go read it real quick...
...right, that's it: he has an inferiority complex towards Mario, because Sonic got invited to Brawl and Robotnik didn't, so now Robotnik is a second-class game villain threatened with the prospect of extinction, and to stave off the encroaching shadow of obscurity, thrown up by such colossal efforts as Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games, he decides to....
....enlist me as his lieutenant to start turning people like our beloved Mog into cybor....no, androids....so that we'll go around and tell everybody that Raccoon Mario, which will make all the emo kids cry and then everyone will hate Mario and cut themselves, and then Sonic will be the platforming king, and then Robotnik is Archnemesis Numero Uno FOR ALL TIME.
Is that about right, Tor? I think that's the basic gist of your theory. OK. Cool, now that we've reviewed your theory, let's take a look at the evidence you put forth to support your case. First off, you..........
Oh, wait.....
That's right, you didn't provide any evidence. You just decided that Mog couldn't possibly have liked Raccoon Mario more, so therefore it must have to do with Sega's mascot and a bunch of cybor...no, androids.
So, Pat, did you decide on this story before or after we talked on MSN? You know, remember that conversation we had where you misprepresented me?
The Messenger Files: Full Transcript
Torbox, I admire you. Your cleverness makes you indeed a worthy adversary. It was a veritable coup d'etat to publish that picture of our private MSN conversation and twist is meaning so as to lend the thinnest of credibility to your story. You get to say, "Sure I know it sounds crazy, but look, he admitted to it." Pretty sneaky.
The problem, Torbox, is that you, like all evil villains, have an incurable desire to monologue. Monologuing is pretty much the number one reason why evil will never win. From Wikipedia's entry on monologuing:
Torbox and I were chatting on MSN about the blogs, and Pat told me he'd be posting pretty much right after midnight with some new developments in the Cape/Raccoon Debate. (Did he ever.) I thought I'd tease him a little and accuse him of cheating, which of course he wasn't. What follows then is a more complete transcript of the conversation where claims that I admitted I was an android.
Now, I admit, you didn't really "monologue" here. You saved that for your blog post.
But you just couldn't help but tell me you were gonna do a screen capture of our conversation! That's all I needed to hear to realize that I'd need a copy of this conversation myself, just in case you did what you ended up doing.
See, in the real conversation, it's clear that I was blissfully unaware that he was trying to set me up for an android confession - just a line or two to cut out and paste to a blog. And you know what? If he hadn't have said anything, I never would have saved the conversation myself - and he might have gotten away with it.
But he just had to sneak in a little micro-monologue, a one-line, gloating speech of victory that ultimately proved to be his downfall. Your deceitful edit is exposed for the trickery it is.
So I ask you, Torbox, WHERE IS THE PROOF??? What do have to back up these allegations of a Robotnik/ Android/ OldManLever conspiracy? I'm waiting to see something.
Oh, and Christine really enjoyed the grilled cheese sandwich too.
"Both are valued classmates, and I respect very deeply their sense of right in these dark dark times."
Remember writing this, Torbox? You wrote this in praise of Scott Harvey and Anthony Legere, when you quoted them in your cause against the truth. Let's take a look again at what Harv and Legger had to say, shall we?
OK, let's start with you, Anthony. That quote - wow, it was sooooo well written. I didn't know you could write that well! It's so....so literary!
Huhn. The Doors of Perception, by Aldous Huxley, lets take a look at that.....
So Pat, this is the kind of person whose sense of value you deeply respect? Someone who take the words of someone else and pass them off as his own? In an attempt to defame me, just for the fun of it? I confronted Anthony with this irrefutable evidence today, and he said that the only reason he hasn't given me a quote against you is because I haven't asked yet.
That's some sense of right there to be respected in these dark times.
And Harv....you, your cut goes deepest. I thought I really could trust you - I really thought I knew you, but as it turns out, I didn't. I thought you were a man who stood up for truth and loyalty and honour. But judging by the conversation we had on MSN a few nights ago, it looks like I had you all wrong.
Here's the REAL Scott Harvey:
Like Nick Cage in Lord of War. This guy is working both sides of the game, just to get ahead and see some action in
So that's it, Tor? Is that all you got? Because all I see here is a whole lotta nothing. I don't think your "case" can be any more thoroughly discredited. Let's see some hard evidence of these conspiracy theories.
You know, I went to go and check out the YTMND of the Week again today....only to find out that the creator of the site has updated the background image to something he/she obviously felt was superior. What a deliciously perfect turn of events.
And Happy Birthday, man! I hope you have a good one. I'm sure with your new haircut, the ladies will all be taking a swipe at ya.
IMBC Moment: Your Blog As Written by your favorite Fictional Character
And last, but certainly not least, the Topic of the Day. Well, my favorite fictional character is the protagonist of my favorite game series. And no, it's not Mario, so you don't have to worry. It's not going to be be all, "It'sa me, OldaManLever! I like-a the Leaf!"
No, my favorite character is actually Gordon Freeman. This is what his post would look like, probably.
Gaming Zen: Special Guest Blogger, Gordon Freeman
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